Transgender stories: 'People think we wake up and decide to be trans'
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| Transgender stories: 'People think we wake up and decide to be trans' |
1 . Nikki Hayden, 26, psychology student, London
Until I was about four or five I didn’t know I wasn’t a girl, to be honest with you. One of my earliest memories, about five years old, was being yelled at by a teacher for going to the toilet with the girls. About the same age I realised I was different to these other boys.
At the age of nine I refused to have my hair cut. I didn’t have it cut until I was 16, because having it cut was such a torment to me. School was extremely difficult. I got bullied a lot. I was picked on for being too thin, for being feminine, for not liking football, for hanging round with girls, for having long hair. They mocked everything they could think of in terms of gender and sexuality.
I learned what trans meant through YouTube. I knew how I felt but I didn’t know there was a term for it. I was basically just trying to Google what I felt. A lightbulb went off in my head and I thought, this explains all the issues I’ve had as long as I can remember.
I never really told my family. They know, but I just started transitioning. I never said: “Oh, by the way …” My mum asked me if I was transgender when I was around 19 after I’d already transitioned. She said: “Well, are you?” And I was like: “Are you blind?” On a day-to-day basis I don’t tell people I’m transgender. The thing about trans people is, we feel very normal.
It’s the way we are, it’s only when people say you’re not normal that you feel that way. I’ve always been extremely feminine, I always felt that way. I can’t say that I ever felt like a boy, I just had to live as a boy for the first 16 years of my life .
Trans people are the same as everyone else, our ideals in life are to be happy, to be respected, to be comfortable. I’ve had people who have openly said to me that they’ve had prejudices around trans people but as soon as they’ve met me they’ve understood more – it’s who I am and the way that I was born. There’s no real difference between myself and people who are cisgender [non-transgender].
Keith Reynolds, 18, student, Surrey
A lot of people have it in their head that we wake up and decide to be trans. I want people to know that it’s not a choice. Nothing has happened in my life to make me trans. I was born trans. I told my mum when I was about 13.
She was shocked and didn’t really understand. Then six months later she told my dad and he was so angry. I love my dad but he was a very traditional person. There was a lot of tension. I couldn’t wear men’s clothing, or I couldn’t wear men’s deodorant – it would cause an argument. It started to get better, but then Dad got cancer. He died a week before I turned 16.
When he got sick we didn’t talk about it any more. I thought that once he had recovered we’d go back to talking about it, but he didn’t recover. After my dad died I found a book about transgender young people and I gave it to my mum. She read it and it was a complete change.
She says her main thing and also my dad’s main thing is they were worried about how it will affect me in life – will I be able to find a job, will I be able to find a partner. Well, those things have happened: I’ve found a partner, I have no trouble finding jobs.
My mum is fantastic, she’s really proud of me. She comes to Transgender Pride with me, if anybody says anything bad about me being trans she’s ready to hammer them. She makes me the envy of many trans people, I think.
I was referred to Tavistock [the clinic for children and adolescents] in May 2014. You’re not allowed testosterone until you’ve been on hormone blockers for a year at Tavistock. But I was 16 at my first appointment and had already gone through puberty, and knew that by the time I had done a year on blockers I’d be picked up by the adult clinics.
I decided not to go on hormone blockers, because it wouldn’t really do much for me. I was referred to an adult clinic in May 2015. I still haven’t had an appointment, which means I haven’t had any medical intervention in three years.
’m desperate for hormones and surgery. My dysphoria makes me feel like I’m embarrassed for people to look at me. In my head I’m this weird thing that is ugly. I have to wear baggy clothes to hide my hips, I have to think about how many layers I have to wear to hide my chest.
I really understand that the NHS is overstretched because there’s a sudden influx of people being referred. I completely understand why, but that doesn’t stop the frustration.
How is transgender caused?
Transgender people have a gender identity that does not match their assigned sex, often resulting in gender dysphoria. The causes of transsexuality have been studied for decades. The most studied factors are biological, especially brain structure differences in relation to biology and sexual orientation.
Who was the first transgender in history?
Christine Jorgensen
The most famous American transgender person of the time was Christine Jorgensen, who in 1952 became the first widely publicized person to have undergone sex reassignment surgery (in this case, male to female), creating a worldwide sensation.
What age does transgender start?
Most children typically develop the ability to recognize and label stereotypical gender groups, such as girl, woman and feminine, and boy, man and masculine, between ages 18 and 24 months. Most also categorize their own gender by age 3 years.
2 .Transgender Today: Ignacio Rivera
As part of a series of editorials about transgender experiences, the New York Times is featuring personal stories that reflect the strength, diversity and challenges of the community. Here is National Center for Transgender Equality US Trans Survey Outreach Coordinator Ignacio Rivera's story. My gender presentation has been disturbing to some and intriguing to others.
Forty-three years ago I was designated female at birth. I was raised as a niña, lived as a young lady and a strong mujer for thirty-some odd years. From the ages of fifteen and on, my life as a femme-heterosexual, femme-lesbian, dyke, androgynous queer, trans masculine, trans/gender queer being, has been a wonderful journey with no transitional end.
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| top 5 transgender story |
I’m trans and I’m gender queer or gender fluid. My narrative much like so many others’ is invisibilized by societies need to place me in a binary. I was not born in the wrong body, although this rings true for so many other transgeneros. I experience transition as constant.
I’ve identified as a no-op/no-ho (non-operative/non-hormone) trans person in which I was not viewed or accepted as such. Trans-ness has often been linked with medical transition and is simply not the case or desire for so many. Several years later, I decided to begin hormones (testosterone) as a continuation of my journey and two years thereafter have decided to undergo top-surgery (double mastectomy). All of these decisions and changes have not been in a vacuum. The legal changing of my name on IDs and legal documents, like many other decisions, have to do with, not only, how I see myself but increasingly incorporating my safety in the world.
The shifting of my pronouns from “she,” to “they,” and ultimately to “they and he,” because “they” raises questions, especially in public spaces, or garners scrutiny, is but one example. My gender experience is intertwined with the “input” of violencia, discrimination, familia, love(rs), employment, healthcare and so much more. These days, I “pass” as a man although this is not how I identify. For me, passing is a blessing and a curse. Passing, (when I am not seen as a femme-gay man) affords me some security.
It is a curse when, yet again my identity is invisible outside of people who know me. For many of us, the trans, gender queer, and gender fluid identity is as valid as man or woman. It is all valid. There is no cookie cutter trans model. Basically, the trans identity or experience is vast.
I await for the days that trans-ness in all its splendor is accepted fully—with or without hormones or surgery, for those of us who use gender neutral pronouns, and those who will not/cannot pass.
If I had a chance to be born and do it all over again, I would choose to be designated female at birth and transition through my fluidity—wherever that would take me. My upbringing, struggle and socialization as a girl and woman has much to do with who I am today as a gender queer trans person.
3 . Ashley’s story about identifying as transgender
Ashley, who was born ‘Adam’, has early memories of feeling different but not being able to put her finger on exactly what that meant. She discusses coming to terms with those feelings, and all of the things she's learnt along the way.
What are Freedom Stories?
Together with ACON, ReachOut worked with some talented filmmakers and storytellers to produce a number of digital stories.
Our storytellers share their own experiences of coming to terms with their sexuality and gender, and talk about what they know now that they wish they’d known before.
About the filmmaker
Emerging director Lily Rolfe has been working in the Australian film industry since she graduated from high school in 2006. She began directing in 2011. She’s worked with actors such as Bruce Spence, Heather Mitchell, Anna McGahan and Alex Williams.
Her film GINGERS was screened on SBS in 2013 and CENSUS at Flickerfest. THE TENDER DARK was funded by the Screen NSW EFF program in 2013.
4 . story in reddit
My father will kill me
I am from Pakistan and I am suffering I am transgender. My family didn't know. When I revealed Emre, they kicked me out of the house. I am now on the street without food and without a home. There is also a terrorist group that wants to kill me. And she threatens me. I need your advice, please
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